I don’t know why I named this post PMDD-can you hear me? I think it sounded like a song in my head-so I went with it :)
This is a very personal post for me, but I felt compelled to share it. Bare with me :)
I have a disorder called PMDD or PreMenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. You probably haven’t heard of this disorder and if you have it is probably from the lame TV commercials promoting a certain type of birth control pill.
PMDD is described by the Mayo Clinic here:
“(PMDD) is a severe, sometimes disabling form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Although regular PMS and PMDD both have physical and emotional symptoms, PMDD causes extreme mood shifts that can disrupt your work and damage your relationships. About 30 percent of menstruating women have PMS. Up to 8 percent of women with PMS have symptoms that meet the diagnostic criteria for PMDD.”
In my personal experience, PMDD is definitely debilitating. While, I am able to get out of bed and go to work, my mood swings and attitude are horrible. I can be smiling and laughing and then-within the same minute-wondering why I am living this life and crying for no reason.
PMDD changes me into a manic depressive for about 3-4 days out of every month. I always know that my emotions, thoughts, and feelings are NOT really my own and will pass with time but they still get the best of me occasionally (or more :)). It is a constant fight to stay on top of how I feel.
On top of the emotional toll this disorder takes on me I also deal with whole body aches and pains, fatigue, loss of taste and appetite, and loss of reason. I loss my will to do anything-which stinks b/c if I would just get up and do something, I would feel a little better.
Being distracted is a huge help during these times in my life. I am getting better about making myself do stuff-I try to plan things I cannot back out of to keep me busy and active.
I try my hardest to stay in control when my PMDD comes for it’s monthly visit-but it is hard. Luckily Husband is understanding and gives me a little leeway.
I am sharing this information with you all not to make you feel sorry for me or to complain-I am sharing it in hopes of getting the information out there.
It took me a long time to realize there was something constant and chemical going on with me that was causing my sudden monthly depression and changes in my personality.
I might not be diagnosed right now if it wasn’t for my wonderful OB/GYN. I talked to my doctor and explained how I was feeling. This was the first time I heard of PMDD. The doctor had me take a short written test while on my period and then another test when I was not on my period. The difference in answers was shocking!
The answers I gave while on my period were depressing, hopeless, and scary. The answers I gave while not on my period were “normal”, hopeful, very Amy. I could not believe that I had answered so differently-and the oddest part is I was trying to be hopeful and good on the first test. I did not want to have this disorder.
I have learned now that having this disorder does not make me weak or weird. We all have struggles in life and I am glad I have (one of) mine diagnosed and I am able to take a minimal amount of medication to help treat this.
Yes, I am on anti-depressants (they do not have PMDD specific medication as of right now-but anti-depressants seems to help those who are diagnosed) and I am proud! I have taken control of my life and I am doing my very best to make this a great life!
OK–onto a funny (related) note.
I am experiencing my PMDD this week-which means I also become extremely slow and clumsy in everything I do. I am not normally a clumsy person-but watch out when PMDD comes…
Yesterday, while at work, I walked downstairs to heat up my homemade transparent tart (that my wonderful work friend brought me).
I was walking back upstairs to my office delighted to be soon eating my warm, sugary, buttery, tart.
I could not wait any longer, I started to cut a bite…
Yep-I lost it all! I did not even get 1 bite!
Here is my sad face:
Have you heard of PMDD? do you have this disorder or know someone who does? do you have a sad face? Please share. I LOVE comments!